Turtle Girl.

Here's the scene:
Caffeine Dreams. Jamie at my right, and Emily sitting in front of me. They're playing UNO, I am watching, and of course typing this. It is a usual Friday. There's me complaining about how cold I am all the time while wearing some sloppy sweatshirt, Emily pretending not to be bored, and Jamie reading Anne Lamott.

I was reading a usual blogger I'm into named Jason Boyett (occasional free-lancer for Relevant Magazine). He came across another blogger who mentions a list of things that white people like. Let's see how white I am, shall we?

#61 Bicycles

And of course, it goes without saying that white people who ride bikes like to talk about how they are saving the earth. If you know a person who rides to work, you should take them aside and say “Hey, thanks. Sincerely, The Earth.” Then give a thumbs up. That white person will ride home on a cloud.

#49 Vintage

Beginning in their late teens, white people begin an obsession with finding cool vintage clothing at local thrift shops and Goodwills.

#44 Public Radio

White people have an uncanny ability to make the ordinary exciting and there is no better forum than public radio to best showcase this.

#19 Traveling

The second type of white person travel is Third World....But like with Europe, white people like to believe they are the first white people to make this trip. As such, they should be recognized as special and important individuals. That’s right, by going to a country, riding around on a bus or train, staying at a hotel or hostel and eating - they are doing something important for the world.

#9 Making You Feel Bad About Not Going Outside

While it would be easy to get angry at white people for this, remember it is hard wired in their head that the greatest thing a person can do in their free time is to hike/walk/bike outdoors.

#1 Coffee

I promise you that the first person at your school to drink coffee was a white person. You could kind of tell they didn’t enjoy it, but they did it anyways until they liked it - like cigarettes.

Mmm, caucasian!